I’ve had my fair share of arguments with sensible people over nuanced topics. More than the outcomes themselves, what I will remember is the inherent respect in a debate between two individuals. The willingness to listen to someone whom you disagree with, even if you look down upon them.

However, people we come across are colourful, and some of them have an incredibly difficult time accepting change or acknowledging a contradiction. The reason lies deep within.

Let’s draw an analogue to countries. Countries evolve, adapt and stand the test of time if (amongst other things) they have some basics: A living and breathing constitution, a reasonably democratic power, enough space for dissent, space to debate things, the rule of law and the promise of justice. Other nations may change (drastically) in the absence of the above, but that isn’t the slow and steady change we’re talking about, it is rather the death of the previous entity and the birth of another. Some countries live in a state of eternal restlessness through this reincarnation, while others survive and inspire: Venerable institutions society can look up to and learn from.

So it is with people in societies. If you have someone who has had instilled in them (by some means - education, upbringing, life or just a bunch of good books and free time) things analogous to that nurturing environment in the country, namely: the ability to dispassionately argue, empathise with and respect individuals, and be able to do this open mindedly - they will evolve well throughout their lifetime. They will learn from and love life.

They may not agree with everything that’s going on, but they will disagree respectfully.

If I’m asked to bestow an aashirvadam upon others as a wizened old man, it would be that your interactions in life be dominated by these people. People who, in the words of Shashi Tharoor, “need not agree on everything, as long as they agree on how to disagree”.



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